Wednesday, July 22, 2015

New series: WTF did I just watch?

I watch a lot of movies. Really, a lot. And naturally, while the majority of these movies are just the general, popular ones, I do end up getting dragged down the rabbit hole with a couple of them. Some are just plain ol' rubbish for various reasons, but some of them end up surprising me. As a result, I'm planning on sharing some of these oddballs with you guys. They will either fall into two categories - 'WTF did I just watch' means it's just too awful, weird or mind bending (and not in a good way!) to recommend. 'WTF, I actually kind of liked that' means that while it's still not a typical movie its actually got some redeeming feature (humour, awesome character, good plot etc) that made it watchable.

So to start us off, this is one I watched a while ago but it stuck with me... not necessarily for the right reasons. 

Mega Piranha

The run down:

Usual stuff. Science experiment goes wrong, piranha's grow big. Really big. And then they turn suicidal and hilarity in all the best of the worst ways ensure.

So the movie:

Genetically engineered piranhas who grow larger every couple of hours escape from an isolated part of the river and swim downstream towards Florida, which is in the middle of the tourist season.
Special Agent Fitch and a scientist named Sarah Monroe are trying to keep the piranhas contained despite trouble with the local police, namely Colonel Diaz. They run around doing high-speed chases through the jungle and 'fancy' tricks to keep a stolen helicopter in the air after it runs out of fuel. Meanwhile the piranhas have turned mega, cuing what could almost be the best of the movie. Some of the piranhas turn suicidal and decide to jump out of the water to eat people, attack buildings (or get skewered on buildings) and just randomly explode (no joke, they blow up two hotels. Magic). Torpedoes, depth charges and even a nuclear missile are useless against these huge fish so the heroes decide the best course of action is to get in the water with guns, in order to make the fish bleed and start a feeding frenzy. Colonel Diaz shows up in a helicopter, drops a rope in the water which Fitch then climbs up. He realises it the bad guys and shoots the pilot in the mouth with a flare gun. Cue bad graphics as the pilots head explodes in a shower of goop. Fitch uses some sort of beacon to attract a mega piranha and jumps out of the helicopter moments before its eaten by the giant fish. He then shoots the helicopter in the piranhas mouth, helicopter and piranhas explode and trigger a feeding frenzy which wipes out all of the piranhas while Fitch escapes.
Which is really, really familiar for some reason.
And that would be because at the beginning of the movie, when Fitch first meets the piranhas, he stabs one of the them in the eye and escapes while a feeding frenzy happens. 
So why exactly did this movie run for an hour and a half?

Pretty much... everything the piranhas do. It's just hilarious watching them crashing into buildings.
Every time Fitch says something hero-ish. Or dramatic. Anytime Fitch speaks, really.

Its hilarious in all the wrong ways but then again, so is the 1:29 minute trailer.

WTF did I just watch.

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